Be For Christ (pre​-​future shit​-​singles)

by Mrs. God

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about

Selections from early recordings by Jason Christ and his first band, MRS. GOD. Taken from "Sing-A-Long Songs for a World War" and "Do-It-Yourself Stigmata". More may be posted, when/if re-discovered.

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released July 4, 2001

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Track Name: Owed to The Boone Saloon
OWED to The BOONE SALOON

Woke up hungover in my brother's old bed
Some Pizza Rolls and Gatorade soothe my booming belly and head
I'm just visiting home on my Winter-break n thank God I'll be leaving soon
'Cause we got so damn loaded last night, that we ended up in
The Boone Saloon

Vomit-smoke-curtain, plenty of line-dancing room
There's not a dry eye when FREEBIRD permeates the gloom
They're not talking about animals when they discuss "coons"
Your kind ain't wanted in The Boone Saloon

I don't remember much, but I recall shooting shots w/ my buddy (___)
We were talking about being out of touch
and how everyone we knew from high school was fucking married or pregnant, yeah, yeah, ow yeah

Well I know we have time for another but I think we should leave soon
And I know "Folsom Prison Blues" is a mighty cool tune
But that mullet-headed maniac is at the bar, sharpening a spoon
n that wart-eyed bar-wench just gave the throat-slice warning of doom
And that CAT-mesh-hat guy just spat chew on my shoe
It might just be me, but I'd rather leave and puff ichy-ooh
'cause they look at you mad up in The Boone Saloon

Vomit-smoke-curtain, plenty of line-dancing room
There's not a dry eye when FREEBIRD permeates the gloom
They're not talking about animals when they discuss "coons"
Your kind ain't wanted in The Boone Saloon
DON'T GO
Your kind ain't wanted in The Boone Saloon
DON'T GO
Your kind ain't wanted in The Boone Saloon
DON'T GO
Your kind ain't wanted in The Boone Saloon
Track Name: No freds and No larrys
NO fREDS and NO lARRYS

I never had a friend named Fred and I never will
When I meet a Larry oh I, I kick to kill
(steel toe, motherfucker!)
I don't think it's cool, if we share the same swimming pool

For reasons unknown

Me no wanna know no freds and no larrys
Me no wanna know no freds and no larrys
Me no wanna know no freds and no larrys
Me no wanna know no, OH NO NO

No freds and No larrys
No freds and No larrys
No freds and No larrys

larry and fred, better off dead
larry and fred, better off dead
larry and fred, better off dead
larry and fred

If you're a fred get the fuck away from me
Or I'll fork your eyeballs out and make your asshole bleed
(broomstick, motherfucker!)
And that goes double for you douchebag larrys

For reasons unknown

Me no wanna know no freds and no larrys
Me no wanna know no freds and no larrys
Me no wanna know no freds and no larrys
Me no wanna know no, OH NO NO

No freds and No larrys
No freds and No larrys
No freds and No larrys

No freds and No larrys
No freds and No larrys
No freds and No larrys
Track Name: Just Be Glad
JUST BE GLAD

I went #1 on your TV screen x 3
Just be glad that it wasn't number two

I went #1 on your cellular phone x 3
Just be glad that it wasn't number two

Just be glad that it wasn't number two
Just be glad that it wasn't number two
Just be glad, I could have dropped my dirty bombs on you

I went #1 on your Bluetooth technology x 3
Just be glad that it wasn't number two

Just be glad that it wasn't number two
Just be glad that it wasn't number two
Just be glad, I could have dropped my dirty bombs on you
Track Name: Life is a Reverberating Queef
LIFE IS A REVERBERATING QUEEF

Perplexing, the things we don't do
No think-thru
Real ghosts don't say, "boo"

Weird, the things we don’t say
the prices we overpay
Some people don’t know what to do with a rainy day

I just think that’s strange, so strange

Uncanny, the things we don’t teach
The chesters who preach
Life is a reverberating queef

Life is a reverberating queef

<<<QUEEF SOLO by J.J. “Floppy Jowels” Average>>>

Peculiar, the things that we DO
No think-thru
Real ghosts say, “keep hope alive”

Strange, the things that we SAY
The prices we overpay
Some people don’t know what to do with a sunny day (repeat)
Some people don’t know what to do with a fucking day

I just think that’s strange, so strange
Hot-cha, cha, cha
Track Name: Turbo-Charged Coffins
TURBO-CHARGED COFFINS

Scanning the ground keeps the beast shit off your feet
A tiny glowing man says I can cross the street
San Diego breeze smells like Mexican food
Augmented women put me in a good mood

All the whackos drive their coffins so wild, as I WALK-BY

Wounded malt liquor forty foams with fungus
Swastikas are carved into bench advertisements
A crushed skunk’s guts attract flappy flies
A lowered ‘6-5 blasts beats into the skies
A drifter’s sign reads, “I ain’t gonna lie…
your spare change is gonna get me high!”

Squealing ambulance drowns out the second coming of Christ
Pudgy funny hustler offers me every vice
Dingle bell ice-cream-cart pushing man,
Blows “la Cucaracha” from a trumpet in his left hand
I look to the West and see the Pacific eat the sun
I don’t know the answer but trying to find out is fun

Scanning the ground keeps the beast shit off your feet
A gleaming red hand says I can't cross the street
San Diego breeze smells like Mexican food
Augmented women keep me in a good mood

All the whackos drive their coffins so mad, as I WALK-BY
Track Name: Defective Slinky
DEFECTIVE SLINKY

She just sits on the stairs
Just like a defective Slinky
She nose-blows smoke and twiddles her hairs
Then tells me how bad her day's been

She spills a body so nice
Gyrating on the bar stool
She always says "what" twice
"Holy shit, did you just see that slam dunk?!"

The Bulls would not have won, any championships,
Without John Paxson or Steve Kerr
Concur on Kerr?
FUCK JUD BUECHLER!

Bill Cartwright shot a crooked-ass free-throw
I guess a couple hours passed by
Oh, I forgot she was there
Just like a defective Slinky

Just like a defective Slinky