JMOJJMO

by Jason Christ

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about

JMOJJMO describes a parallel story about the life of Jesus regarding similar circumstances but w/ diff names.

This 10-track bad conceptual album reveals the fact that if you want to get into Heaven, you have to do some goo deeds. Letting God’s son jazz you off in your dreams means that you are a sure-lock for getting thru the pearly gates upon your deathday.

At least that's what He told Jason Christ...

credits

released July 4, 2004

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all rights reserved

about

WPBO

Believe in dreams!

AA changed ev-thing

U R super special!

P = power
O = of
P = positivity

BE A HERO NOW!

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Track Name: Greyhound AIDS
1. GREYHOUND AIDS

Sometime not very long ago
We slipped out our mothers' pussy holes
We dropped, plopped, flopped down on the ground
and found ourselves in this funky town

For a few years they thought for US
Now we find ourselves on this Greyhound bus
I thought I saw it all until I saw what I seen
Backseat humping by a drunken ex-Marine

We whistle and play and cry and fight
Waiting for the day to burn bright with night
If he had to do it all over again
He would not get AIDS from that Mexican

He met her on a gritty bus bench
Should have known by the wench's stench
But in his cool-ass inebriated state
He tossed the salad on his baglady plate

They called her Cumseulo
Boy the bitch could blow
She convinced him to suck on
Her crusty homeless toe

A few years later
The price he paid
When he woke up with
A bag wrinkly bag of AIDS

We whistle and play and cry and fight
Waiting for the day to burn bright with night
If he had to do it all over again
He would not get AIDS from that Mexican
Track Name: Molly Ringwald
2. MOLLY RINGWALD

The day started out so good and great
Song in my head, food on my plate
Ring a ding a ling, I started to ball
The world just shattered with that phone call

Molly Ringwald has ringworm

Finders keepers, Losers weepers

Sixteen Candles incited my first blood-stuffed chub,
I saw your nip nips in the Breakfast Club

The day started out so good and great
Bong in my head, crank on my plate
Ring a ding a ling, I started to ball
The world just shattered with that phone call…

Molly Ringwald has ringworm

Finders keepers, Losers weepers
Track Name: Super K-Mart Fancy Hamster Logic
3. SUPER K-MART FANCY HAMSTER LOGIC

Let me out of this filthy cage
My mad mother is trying to eat me
I had 34 siblings now I only have five
Chomping toxic wood chips, scrapping for wheel exercise
Next to the snakes that wait ‘til dark to rip us apart
Nobody buys rodents for pets in K-Mart
Close call after close call
I just want to be free in a hamster ball

She hunts with Devil yellow fangs and period red eyes
My siblings try to help me by flinging food that’s pellet sized
Mad Mother chills me with an evil glare of deadly fire
I’m fleeing to the top to frantically chew thru the roof wire
Squeezed into freedom and there I plan to stay
But not before my Mad Mother managed to gnaw off my hind legs
Close call after close call
I just want to be free in a hamster ball

I just want to be free, ya’ll

Roll Run roll run roll run roll run
roll run roll run roll run roll run
Watch out for the steps

Close call after close call
Track Name: Rigoberto the Rotisserie Misfit's Famous Theory of Existence
4. RIGOBERTO the ROTISSERIE MISFIT'S FAMOUS THEORY of EXISTENCE

“Time is relative to the infinite ripples existence makes
in the space energy pond of light and dreams”

So now you know
Go if you gotta go
and fix your fucked up life
before you die
in a head on collision
Track Name: Jorge Shatner
5. JORGE SHATNER

Steaming spider webs tickle perineums at night
We don’t know which way is riggity right
She said she never heard of Mark Ratner
But she firmly believes in Jorge Shatner

Jorge Shatner lives on Neptune
He has boners for eyeballs
And his head is a water balloon
He can shape the future with his mystical, crystal spoo
And he wants you to know that things will be better soon

Things will be better soon

He studied under the mysterious Rigoberto
Until fate let him modify the supreme credo
He tweaked it to include:> blow and Tae-Bo!
And he wants you to know that, you’re the reason the sun glows!

You’re the reason the sun glows!

Thank you, retarded unicorn

I woke up to the sound of my Shaq-Fu CD skippin’
Shoes on, lights on, porno’s on; left the keys in the door again
She said I mixed whiskey with powdered muscle fattener
I don’t know why but I firmly believe in JORGE SHATNER!

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ED NO: Much like Jesus H. Christ, nobody will understand how to interpret Jorge Shatner's pure, simple, and good intentions, for millenials to come.
Track Name: Holy Handjob I: homemade incense
6. HOLY HANDJOB I: homemade incense

Jack me off, Jesus, Jack me off
Jack me off, Jesus, Jack me off
Jack me off, Jesus, Jack me off
Jack me off, Jesus, Jack me off
Jack me off, Jesus, Jack me off
Jack me off, Jesus, Jack me off
Jack me off, Jesus, Jack me off
Track Name: All-American Soul
7. ALL-AMERICAN SOUL

I wonder what it’s like to bust a nut in Heaven
I heard the place is cool even when you’re sober

But if they ain’t got a bar in Heaven, oh well, oh well …
I guess this all American soul is going bent to Hell

Don’t read the papers, don’t believe the T.V.
Try to remember to take it easy
The casters of news spew smiling blues
cool friends, smooth grass, and alotta good booze

I pledge allegiance to the flag of The United States of Alcoholism

But if they ain’t got a bar in Heaven
Oh well, oh well …
I guess this all American soul is going bent to Hell

Pounding Budweiser tallboy cans
Living off credit cards and Jenna Jameson
Contemplating the cunt licking Constitution
And all the freedoms that free dumb asses ain’t using

We can wear costumes when it’s not Halloween
We can squeal at piggies when waiting for a green
We can eat beans and crap cream in diaper trunks
We can sit in holey walls and stare at other drunks

Pounding Blood-wiper tallboy cans
Track Name: The Supernatural Pretend
8. The SUPERNATURAL PRETEND

Face is smashed on cigarette ashes
Mr. Lazy Boy, do you know how I got here?
I don’t know any of these people
“Fuck…”

I feel it happening all under again
I feel like I’ve seen this scene before
Has this all been the supernatural pretend?
‘Cause I know I was in a dream here before

Spaz circling the block like a spun out junky
I never ever ate brussel sprouts before
I am convinced I’m on another foaming planet
“Fuck…”

I feel it happening all under again
I feel like I’ve seen this scene before
Has this all been the supernatural pretend?
‘Cause I know I was in a dream here before

I KNOW I WAS IN A DREAM HERE BEFORE!!!
Track Name: Ringwald Reprise
9. RINGWALD REPRISE

Molly Ringwald has ringworm (wince and REPEAT)
Track Name: Holy Handjob II: the second comeuppance
10. HOLY HANDJOB II: the second comeuppance

(Hear song lyrics for the final chapter as told by Rigoberto the Rotisserie Misfit himself!)